GUEST POST from Arlen Meyers
Imagine you are at a cocktail party and, inevitably, at least in the US, one of the first questions will be, “So, what do you do?”
NB: Do not ask this as the first question when in Europe or Asia.
The answer: “I’m a physician entrepreneur”. Now what?
Consider it an exercise in cultural competence with a dose of psychology thrown in too. Here are some things you should know about narcissistic personality disorder.
You might want to start off with the assumption that you are talking to a narcissist and all that comes with it, both the light and the dark sides.
Here are the five myths of everyday narcissism. You might be talking to someone who suffered from childhood emotional neglect or who had parents who made that person feel that, since their feelings didn’t matter, neither did they.
Student entrepreneurs score higher on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory than other vocational groups.
Narcissism is positively correlated with general self-efficacy.
Narcissism is positively correlated with locus of control.
Narcissism is positively correlated with risk propensity.
Narcissism plays a significant role in explaining entrepreneurial intentions..
Past research shows that narcissism is often tempered by adversity and failure
It may be possible to contain and control the downsides of narcissism. For example, what if those grandiose self-views could be redirected to become focused on others, such as being the best helper, advice giver, or team member? The narcissists who do this naturally are called communal narcissists. They are self-appointed saints who have unrealistic views of their contributions to others. While, like all narcissists, they are driven to maintain unrealistic, inflated self-views and crave positive feedback, their narcissism can be channeled toward productive ends because their self-image is tied to helping others. Whereas traditional research has examined agentic narcissists, those who think their abilities are far grander than others’ and are focused on achieving things in the world for themselves, communal narcissists are more likely to share credit and resources in group settings in order to support their self-perceptions as heroic helpers — and they could just be the narcissists your organization needs.
Then, there is a category of humble narcissists. There are three kinds of humility that matter: ideas, performance and cultural.
That is not the only entrepreneurial psychopathology they exhibit. Then, throw in the doctor part, like a high producing surgeon, and things start to get sticky.
Here are some tips on how to spot and speak to a narcissistic entrepreneur:
1. Forget about changing the stripes on a tiger. Narcissist entrepreneurs think they got as far as they did because of who they are and you are not about to convince them otherwise. They have been told most of their lives how exceptional they are. They prey at the altar of the meritocracy and think luck has absolutely nothing to do with their success and they have little empathy for those who simply put, just don’t work hard enough.
2. Plan to spend no more than 5 minutes talking to them, because they will only talk about themselves and the more you encourage them, the worse the conversation will get.
3. Beware of the narcissist in sheep’s clothing. They know it’s all about them and so they try to compensate and only ask questions about you without sharing anything about themselves. You can tell they are faking interest because they are looking over your right shoulder during the conversation.
4. They are the only ones in the room overdressed
5. They answer very short questions with very long answers, particularly if they are men and deliver a manologue.
6. They incessantly post on Linkedin Pulse and other social media. Beware of anyone with over 500 posts.
7. They have mostly superficial relationships and expect you to pay your part of the bill since most of their money is going for alimony and child support.
8. They like the limelight and make good leaders
9. They value validation
10. They like to use lingo, jargon and bizspeak
Here are some more tips on how to deal with people who have big egos.
One thing you can count on , though, as Uber stockholders are discovering, is that therapy for CEOs displaying toxic behavior will have to wait until there is a substantial impact on profits.
The next time you run into a narcissist entrepreneur, just smile and say, “Wow, did you do that all by yourself?” Then take a sip of your Chardonnay, listen for the next 5 minutes and then politely excuse yourself. Millenials self promote because they have to. Maybe in the new economy we all do. Or , if you are a narcissist yourself, just hang out together for a while and ride the career ladder together.
I’ll bet you think this post is about you, don’t you.
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